I was just on the radio to share perceptions of Kari Bale’s reaction to the news that her husband potentially shot innocent citizens and children in Afghanistan and then turned himself in.

So what did the interview with Matt Lauer tell us?

There are four body language signs that Kari used:

1. Shaking her head back and forth when answering questions.

2. Looking up to her left when answering whether she believed he had done this.

3. Rubbing her right finger over her left hand while in her lap.

4. Smiling.

Now what do all of these signs mean and what do they tell us about what she was saying?

Kari’s shaking of her head, while she talked, showed her distrust feelings about what she heard and how she couldn’t reconcile it with the man she knew.  Literally her brain was saying “no, no, no, he couldn’t have done this.”

Her looking up to the left was her brain’s attempt to pull the factual logical information she knew about her husband and link it with this new information she was hearing.  It is why you keep hearing her say, “I need the facts.”

The rubbing of her hand was a way of comforting herself during a tough time and her smile was her brain trying to hold on to life as she knows it.  Remember her reality is the life she and her husband had when he was last home.

It was interesting to me that people were wondering if the shaking of her head meant she wasn’t telling the truth and they thought this was supported by her smiling.  The reality though is the shaking of her head was disbelief in what she heard or inability to reconcile it with life as she knows it and the smiling is the brain’s attempt to put on a brave face.

I share this with you because when you are in a meeting you will have to match the words and body language to find the truth in the message.  Sometimes a person will tell you what they think you want to hear and other times they really truly don’t believe what they are hearing.

So when you see body language that you can’t figure out, stay in curiosity and ask questions so you can find the real source of the meaning that is hidden underneath.