“How could he not understand? I have told him this for over 6 months and I have even given examples!”
Have you ever felt you were so clear with someone’s coaching that you can’t understand why they have not made the changes you requested?
The above statement is one a CEO said to me when he was sending us over an executive to coach. The CEO THOUGHT he had been clear enough that Mike should have understood the changes he needed to make. HOWEVER…
So, we did a conversation with the CEO, Mike, and our team to get clarity on what needed to change. When we asked Mike how many people he thought he had problems communicating with, he said, “3”. The CEO’s jaw dropped and he said, “Mike the problem is with half your downline- over 150 people.”
So, what caused the disconnect? The coaching the CEO was giving was the old behavior style coaching. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work because the person can’t absorb the information and they can’t build a new brain pathway to change the behavior.
There are several layers to giving good coaching:
- You need to understand what the other person will try to protect as that will affect how they hear you and absorb your message. If a person is worried about their reputation for example, they will likely only hear that the few people you mention in the examples “have it out for them”. They won’t hear that “these are only a few examples of what many are saying”. And on the flip side, if they are worried about stability they will overcorrect and go internal and fearful to rock the boat. Neither are what you want to happen.
- You want to ensure the person clearly hears what needs to change and what indicators will show the change has happened. Indicators are the small daily things that they can tangibly see and feel. So, they would be things like, “I won’t hear any complaints about you.” Or “People will be able to clearly follow your instructions and execute without you having to be involved.”
- They need to know you are serious and will be following up on this weekly until the change is made. Most leaders feel the conversation is the change and then they sit back and wait for it to happen. Then they get frustrated when it doesn’t happen. You want to think of the conversation as “just opening their mind to what is off so they can begin to explore how to change it.”
If you want to know more about how to do this easily so you get your team to make the changes you need, just sign up for an Exploratory Call to see if our Outcome Thinking® Platinum Program or our Outcome Thinking® Inner Circle is right for you.
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