It is still very cold in Minnesota and feels like the thaw of Spring is never going to come. This year I decided to do something about the horrible Winters. I stopped complaining and scheduled some fun warm weather vacations with girlfriends in Florida and had a lovely week with my husband in the Dominican Republic.
The lesson I learned is that I can complain about the situation (in this case Winter) or I can do something about it. I know at this point moving to a warm climate is not conducive but I can certainly strategically remove myself from the cold climate for periods of time to make Winter more tolerable.
Our situation below follows the same idea really–sometimes you need to change what you are doing in order to get different results. Being frustrated and bottling it in won’t help and actually scientifically they have proven it will erupt in your physical system with illness.
So this month, think about a relationship or situation that you would like to change and see if you can apply what we have down below in order to change it. Most everything in life can be changed if you just try a different route!
Best of success!
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Outcome Thinking® Solution
How to get your manager to pay attention during meeting with you
by Anne Warfield
SITUATION: When talking with my manager during scheduled meetings (1 hr/month) he often continues typing on his computer and rarely makes eye contact. When I stop talking, he says, “I’m listening.” When I ask him questions to try and bring him into the conversation, he still keeps his back to me. I feel unimportant and resent him not looking at me. How do I get him to do a real face-to-face meeting with me?
OUTCOME DESIRED: You desire for him to pay attention to you. When someone works on other things or doesn’t make eye contact we naturally feel like we are not important enough for them to give us their full attention. This left alone can fester and cause resentment and anger.HOW TO BEST HANDLE: Decide what his style and driving need is so that you can deliver your information in a style his brain needs in order to absorb and interact with you appropriately.First, I would become aware of what his personality style is. I would guess he is either a Producer or an Analyzer.Here is how you can tell which style he is: If he is a Producer than he loves to multitasks, is always in a hurry, has a short attention span, drills you with questions and wants to know the big picture and not the details. If he is an Analyzer, he is probably uncomfortable making eye contact, prefer lots of details, talks slowly and methodically and his office is probably stacked with data and information.
If he is a Producer than his behavior is driven by the desire to be productive even during meetings. He doesn’t want any time wasted and probably has no clue he is being rude to you. Matter-of-fact he probably is patting himself on the back feeling that he is being ultra efficient.
His behavior will only worsen if he feels you give too many details and can’t drive your point home. You need to make him see how changing his behavior will save him time. Once he feels YOU will accomplish more with him in less time, he will suddenly be motivated to give you that face to face time.
If he is an Analyzer than this behavior is driven by his lack of comfort during the face-to-face meeting. You need to make him see how changing his behavior will help him get more accurate details from you.
BEST PHRASED: Producer: Jim, I really want to make my one-hour meeting with you as productive as possible and absorb as little time from you as possible. Can you share what you need from me for us to be able to have our sessions face to face at your table with the complete focus on our time together? Sometimes I find that if I can’t look in your eyes, I have a tendency to talk on too much so I think this will help me focus for you.
Analyzer: Jim, I really want to make sure I give you the most accurate information during our sessions together. I find that when I can’t look at your eyes and chat directly with you, I don’t give you as focused of information. What do you need from me in order for us to have our sessions at your table focused on each other only?
Then be quiet and let him talk.
If you feel that he won’t give up the multitasking than ask for your meetings to be held in a conference room rather than his office. If he persists, than tell him that it is important to you that you deliver accurate information in a complete manner for him and in order to do that you do need to have the full hour of his attention on just what you two are talking about. Tell him you appreciate that he can work on more than one thing it is just that you need that one on one time to fully share things with him.
Deal of the Month!
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Quoteable Quotes
“A person with an experience is never at the mercy of a person with an argument.” ” -C.S. Lewis
Is Your Audience Ignoring What You Say?
Learn how to get your audience to open up their mind and listen to what you have to say.
Learn about how to inject excitement into your voice to capture your audience’s attention.
You want your passion for a particular project to be infectious and in order to do that your brain reaches back to get passion from how you feel while you are presenting.
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