So as a leader it is your job to mold, shape and coach your team. So why is it so hard to give constructive criticism.
Ironically it has been found that we often dislike those whom we’ve hurt. This means that if you have a person on your team that you really like it is far easier for your brain to keep wanting to give that person chances rather than criticize them. Once you move to criticize them, for your brain, it moves the person toward the dislike side and that doesn’t feel good.
So how do you marry the need to give criticism with the realization that your brain may then move you toward disliking the person?
The most important thing is to SHIFT how you view criticism and why you criticize. I literally now think of criticism as my INVESTMENT in that individual and a sign of my belief that they can make change happen. This shift in how I see my role changes how I share the feed back and how I coach them through the feedback. I am now more invested in helping them achieve results than I am in delivering the feedback and making sure they understand my point of view on it.
Here is your take action for the day:
Take a situation you may have avoided in the past. Look at it through the lens of your belief in that person and what good things they can do. Your job is to help them move past this one thing and reach their full potential. Now go and talk with them in the spirit of helping them to make change rather than the spirit of helping them understand what they did wrong and why you are frustrated.