You can’t influence what people don’t understand. So if you wish to help people make changes, you need to be able to help them see why the change is of value to them.

Don’t be pushy. Instead, just think about things from their perspective. Why should they want to do this? The less judgmental you are the more they will gravitate to you.

Here is a quick example:

I want my kids to use good table manners. Normally we would try to influence them by telling them why it is important and pointing out when they do things wrong. With Outcome Thinking®, you look at the outcome you desire and focus on that. With that in mind, I asked my kids, “How am I supposed to know that you use good table manners at friends’ houses if I don’t see you using them at home?” A simple but profound question that allows them to assume the accountability, not me.