This winter has been a mild one to last year and I am amazed at how it has impacted the energy of those around me. See, last year people were spending so much time complaining at the mounds of snow; spending time shoveling; and spending time just trying to stay warm and get around. All of that consumed a tremendous amount of energy and left less energy to bound about in a joyful manner.
This week I encourage you to think about how you spend your energy because where you put your energy is exactly the parts of your life where you will be rewarded most. If you feel you are under a fog, like we Minnesotans felt last year with the heavy snow, do something to get you out of your rut.
Positive energy really plays a key part when you are facilitating a meeting. Have you ever seen someone who is so enthusiastic about what they are saying that you can’t help but get caught up in it? It can be a contagious as a kid at their own birthday party. Today’s ezine will focus on how you can eliminate or divert the negativity from a meeting or conversation.
Oh, and if you want to hear more, we would love you to join us for one of our 2015 Managing Your Strategic Message Sessions.
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Outcome Thinking® Solution
How to handle negative people during a meeting
by Anne Warfield
SITUATION: I often have to run meetings and there are times that negative people seem to dominate the meeting. I watch the whole room clam up and the tone of the meeting changes. I don’t know what I should do during these times as I feel the meeting falls apart and takes a whole new direction. How can I manage the negative people better?
OUTCOME DESIRED: You want to keep a positive tone at your meetings, encourage participation, and eliminate negativity so that the meetings are well attended.
OTHER PERSON’S PERSPECTIVE: I have found that most negative people don’t see themselves as negative. They truly believe they are just voicing what everyone else is thinking but not willing to say. Unfortunately most people’s way of dealing with negativity is to become silent. This encourages the negative person to keep talking because they believe the silence is AGREEMENT with them.
On the other hand, you most likely don’t want to embarrass the person as well. The other person may believe they are just sharing and they may not even hear the negativity in their voice. Then, of course, there are those people who are just bitter and believe people are all out for themselves.
HOW TO BEST HANDLE: This is a tough one and it depends on a couple of variables–are the people peers of yours, are they from your own company, and how do they perceive you right now. Since I don’t know any of those I am going to assume that these are meetings within your own company and with people that would be your peers.
Most importantly reflect on the topic of the meeting. Let me give you three variations based on the meeting type.
1. If it is one that requires a lot of sharing and solution solving you can say the following:
“Since this meeting is largely about sharing positive solutions to problems we face, I am going to ask that we all focus on solutions not the reasons for the problem. At first I would like all ideas offered and then we will go back and look at how to implement them. If we start moving down a negative path or a path of trying to figure out the “how” before we have addressed all the ideas, you will hear me say, “let’s table that and go on’.”
2. If it is a normal meeting and the negativity is getting high, you can do the following:
“I am going to stop for a 5 minute break. I ask that we all use this time to refocus our energy so we can come back and participate positively in the meeting. If you don’t feel you can do that, please feel free to remove your things during the break and leave. I want to make sure that the limited time we have stays focused for the group.”
3. If it is one or two people that are chronically negative, you can do the following:
Meet with them separately at a time outside of the meeting. Here you would say something like, “What do you need from me in order to feel comfortable sharing positive solutions and input with the group at our meetings?” Then let them talk. Here is where you will find out if they are just negative or if they don’t know how to put their ideas positively.
If you are running a meeting it is your obligation to keep the meeting a positive, proactive and safe environment for the group to share and explore. That may mean at times that your meetings become feisty as people banter ideas around and challenge each other. That is all a healthy part of a meeting.
What we are talking about here is negative comments and responses that stop the group rather than challenge the group to open up. In those instances life is too short to let a few affect the entire group.
I have personally used the five minute break conversation when I have had negative people in a training. To the comments above I added the following: “When we come back from the break, I expect everyone that returns to fully participate. If you don’t feel you can do that for whatever reason, I respectfully ask you to remove your things during the break and explain to your boss why you chose to leave. I am perfectly fine with that. My role is to make sure that this environment is the best for learning and sharing as it possibly can be. To that I am committed and I promise all of you that return that I will do all I can to make this environment safe for you to learn.”
I have found the energy I spend trying to divert the negativity takes away from what the group actually learns in a session and has a BIG negative impact. Life is too short for that so nip negativity before it drains your energy!
Deal of the Month!
Influence: How to Make Big Changes in A Short Time!
If Listen in as Anne Warfield interview’s Al Switzler, one of the authors of the books Influencer and Crucial Conversations.
It was a fun and fast paced interview that shows you what you need to look at in order to influence change in great numbers. Learn how one disease went from 3.5 million deaths a year globally to under 500 deaths WITHOUT a cure ever being found!
BONUS: For those who are serious about being more influential.
There are a few of you who have faithfully followed this Influencer series and who are serious about being more influential. You see the possibility in you and are looking to break in to the code so you gain time, money and respect.
Click here to register for the “Successful Communication, Brain Style Analysis” Virtual Training, a 90 minute training session with a personalized Outcome Thinking® Communication Assessment included, that you can now watch anytime that is convenient for you.
Quoteable Quotes
“The true measure of a person is how they treat someone who can do them absolutely no good.” -Ann Landers
How To Answer Tough Questions
Learn how to answer a tough question whether during a presentation, negotiation or facilitating a meeting.
Watch Now…as Anne shares an example of how to address a question when you’re presenting.
Free HOT Tip
Learn more about how to interact with your audience with questions.
Those first eight minutes when you establish rapport with your audience is the time when you need to tell them how to interact with you with questions.
“The differences I see in myself since attending Managing Your Message were clear…
…I spoke too quickly and didn’t ensure my audience saw how what I was saying directly impacted them. Now that I’ve experienced Outcome Thinking® I state a clear goal and “stay in curiosity” with my audience in order to speak from their perspective. By attending this seminar you will understand your communication style and gain an appreciation for other people’s styles that will make you more successful in business and happier in your personal life as well.”
Kristin O’Connell, Director of Marketing, Customized Uptime Solutions, Inc.
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