Building Emotional Resilience: Staying Calm Under Pressure
Building Emotional Resilience: Staying Calm Under Pressure
Have you ever watched someone receive really bad news and remain calm and poised while you think, “I would be freaking out right now”? How they do that is not a mystery, and building emotional resilience is something you can learn, too!
Emotional Reaction Triggers
Two things trigger emotional reactions: how protective you are of yourself and how you view your past experiences.
- How Protective You Are of Yourself
The more protective you are, the more you:
- Wonder what people really mean by what they said
- Take the negative side of a statement instead of staying curious
- Try never to let people see you vulnerable, defending or covering up mistakes
- Keep your brain on constant alert to spot danger to your persona, seeking validation from others
These reactions stem from the amygdala being on high alert. When your amygdala is on high alert, it bypasses your prefrontal cortex (your high reasoning and calm façade). It goes straight to the basal ganglia, which operates with a 12-year-old’s self-esteem and a 4-year-old’s critical voice. This makes you highly emotional and less logical, so building emotional resilience is critical.
- How You View Your Past Experiences:
The more protective you are, the more you skew past events through the lens of “I never want to experience that again,” causing your brain to avoid similar experiences.
For 35 years, we have helped clients “rewrite the stories” in their hippocampus and learn how not to trigger their amygdala so they can remain poised and calm under high pressure. After all, you want all executives to manage pressure and crisis in a calm, collected manner rather than being reactive.
Building Emotional Resilience
You should be working towards building emotional resistance at two different times: in the moment and reflecting after the fact.
In the Moment:
- Take a deep breath and push it to your sternum, waist, hips, knees, and out your feet. This resets your brain and stops it from automatically responding.
- Say, “I am strong and resilient. I can handle this.” This tells your amygdala to go to sleep because you have this.
- Compose yourself and figure out the following: What do I know factually? What don’t I know? What am I assuming? What questions do I need to ask to gather the facts? Notice I have you start first with what you know factually. 90% of our reactions come from what we assume versus what we truly know. This stops and makes you more curious.
Reflecting After the Fact
- Write down past events that have impacted you.
- Recall and write down the event.
- Identify what is factual and what is assumptive.
- Note what you don’t know.
- Build a new story using what you don’t know to see the other person’s side.
By following these steps, you can remain poised and calm under high pressure, turning emotional reactions into thoughtful responses and building emotional resilience.
Want to learn more about rewiring your brain to handle any situation calmly? Contact us or schedule a strategy session today!