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Are You Drawing The Best Out In Your Spouse?

This weekend was a busy one for me. It was filled with poignant moments that had me reflecting on life lessons.

The first poignant moment came on Friday night. We had two other couples over for dinner that we hadn’t seen in a while. We were supposed to be a monthly gourmet dinner club but with everyone’s schedules we were lucky if we got together once a year.

As I listened to the room I noticed how charged the room was with energy and serenity at the same time. I noticed how each spouse listened to each other, complimented each other, and shared the good about their spouse with others.

You know I go to a lot of parties where the men and women separate. Then the men start talking about how the women drive them crazy and the women talk about how little their spouse does to help them. Now often these comments are disguised in little joking digs. Things like, “You know my Tom, he can’t lift a hammer. I just wish he could at least change a diaper!.”

There was none of that Friday night. It was nice to see couples that brought the best out in each other; couples that were excited to be together; couples that truly smiled at each other with their eyes and whole face.

When do we lose that and why? Why will we invest more in our careers both monetarily and time wise than our relationships? When should we invest in our best asset, our spouse?

I think we partly lose it because we become frustrated with ourselves. For some reason people have bought in to the idea lately that your spouse is suppose to make you happy. We marry because we believe we will be happy and the other person will help fulfill us.

There is a saying that “a woman marries a man hoping to change him and a man marries a woman hoping she will never change.” I think there is a lot of truth to that.

But marriage isn’t about change and it isn’t about being happy. It isn’t even about finding the right spouse.

It is about being the right spouse. It is about being COMMITTED to your marriage through the good and the bad. It is about enjoying each other and drawing the best out in each other.

Now I am not a PollyAnna and I don’t mean to imply that good marriages don’t have fighting or complaining. They do. They just know the time and place for it. They also know they are a team.

Demonstrate leadership in your marriage for your children.

ACTION: For the next month listen to how you talk to your significant other and how you talk to others about your significant other. Do you compliment or complain? Do you build up your spouse or cut them down?

Invest in your best long-term asset- your spouse. Try complimenting your spouse for an entire month. See what happens. You never know what tomorrow will bring.


As the leading Outcome Strategist, Anne Warfield shows people how to say the right thing at the right time every time.  The revolutionary Outcome Focus® Approach shows how to build a candid corporate culture of communication that allows you to lead, present and negotiate transformationally rather than transactionally. When applying Outcome Thinking® our client’s results include sales cycles reducing by 75%, turnover reducing by 30%, silos evaporating, and a 25% savings of time by executives.  Find out how you can maximize your corporate culture for greater productivity and results!  Contact us at 888-imp-9421, visit  www.impressionmanagement.com,  or email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .