Do You Ask or Dictate?
There is definitely a certain finesse to doing things that either magnetically pulls people to you or repels them away. So why do some people tick you off with the way they handle things and others don’t offend you at all? Is it the intent behind the words? Is it the judgment?
Any good and kind deed you do should make the other person’s life easier, not more complicated. You want to always remember that people aren’t like you and you need to do what is best for them, not you.
WHAT TO DO:
1. Look over your last emails. Do you take power or equal it out?
2. Look at projects you assign. Do you let people develop the key areas and assign themselves or do you just assign? If you do assign, do you do it in a way that makes them feel good?
3. Look at your relationships. Do you OFFER assistance or do you INSIST on it? Do you ying and yang well with others?
Think of it like the advice Mom used to give you. When it was solicited, it was great and brought you comfort. When it was unsolicited, it was seen as criticism, and it ticked you off.
Take action: How do you know if you are not coming off the way you would like? Watch the replies you get. If the other person starts defending their position it is a clue that what you wrote or said offended them. Over time you will notice that you automatically make a conscious effort towards thoughtful communication.
Join us at our public Outcome Focus® Approach to Managing Your Message Seminar to learn how to “come off the way you would like.” Register for the session that fits your schedule! Click on the Seminars tab, Presentation Skills